There’s no doubt about it: Work is important. Frequently though, we allow work to overshadow all other aspects of life. We find ourselves working while friends and family members are enjoying social events, resenting it the entire time. When we let our work take center stage in our lives long enough, we begin to feel terribly out of touch with the people we care about. If your work has taken over, it’s time for you to take a stand. It is time for you to take your life back.

What Do You Want?

What do you want from life, outside certain material possessions and basic creature comforts? Try to take a few moments to reflect. Perhaps friendship is important to you, and if you are like most people, love and romance is certainly a significant part of life. Positive relationships with family members are also meaningful, whether those relationships involve your parents, your spouse or in-laws, your children, or more distant relatives. Human interaction on a personal scale is immensely fulfilling; without it, we often feel empty, cold, and distant.

What Do You Need?

What needs do you have that are not now being fulfilled? If you work at a sedentary job, it’s likely that your body craves more physical activity. Most of us would benefit from improved nutrition. Almost everyone needs more sleep, or at least improved sleep. Beyond these physical needs, we have emotional needs that are often unmet if work is our first priority. When you pause to think about your needs, it is likely that many of them coincide with deep-seated wants involving friends, family, and romance. When our needs are left unfulfilled, we feel as if we are missing out on life – even if we keep busy with work.

How to Improve Your Personal Life

Now that you’ve taken a few moments to think about your desires, it’s time to get serious about improving your personal life, step by step. If you’re like many people, then your lists of “wants” and “needs” are very much alike.

First, consider rearranging your priorities. This is especially important if the way you have currently ordered your life is out of step with your desires. Think about the future, and consider which relationships you would like to continue for many years to come. Reconsider whether some acquaintances have a positive or negative effect on your life. Spend a little time thinking about whether the actions you take each day move you closer to or further from whatever it is you want and need from life.

As you make these considerations, be sure to keep the focus on your personal life and leave work out of the equation. It’s okay to be picky when deciding which relationships are important, and it’s fine to decide that some people should be sent to peripheral positions within your life. It may even be time to end relationships that do nothing to bring you closer to happiness and fulfillment.

Second, think about how your work life impacts your personal life. Try not to think negatively; instead, simply analyze the relationship between life and work in factual terms. Most of us can easily find ways to streamline certain processes, and nearly everyone can think of ways work interferes with personal desires.

Third, consider ways you can rearrange your schedule so you have more time to spend nurturing friendships and cultivating relationships with loved ones. Periodically reevaluating the interplay between work and your personal life can be wonderfully inspiring. In addition, it can bring greater meaning to every facet of life, ultimately leading to a great sense of personal satisfaction. Putting work in its place will help you focus when you need to, so you don’t waste working hours wishing you were doing something else.

Finally, create a plan you can implement over time. It would be irresponsible to suggest that these changes are likely to happen overnight. In fact, making changes slowly may improve your odds of success. In order to create change within your personal life, you will need to replace old, destructive habits with habits that lead you closer to fulfillment. Here are a few general suggestions you can tailor to suit your own relationships and lifestyle.

• Instead of checking your email first thing in the morning, spend a few minutes greeting family members. Share a quick cup of coffee with your spouse, or help a child get ready for school without rushing. Focus on the people you are spending these moments with. If you notice you are obsessing over your inbox, shift your focus back to what is happening in real life, right now. If you live alone, spend those first few precious minutes stretching, breathing deep, and taking a peek at the outside world. No matter who you are or what your circumstances may be, using the first minutes of the day to focus on connecting with your human side will make a difference.
• Create a schedule that allows you to spend time concentrating on your personal life. Focus on friends and family members, and allow yourself the opportunity to participate in important traditions and holidays. If you have children, build in time to spend forging strong bonds with them. If you have a spouse or significant other, make romance a priority. If you need to ask others for things like sports or recital schedules, do so. Plan for special days in advance the same way you plan important work events in advance. If you are a parent, this is doubly important, since your kids are only going to grow up once and you want to be there for them. Be present for the things that really matter, and make plans for strengthening valuable friendships that need attention.
• If you always have work overflow and you know it, schedule a specific time to handle the extra load. You might need to do this every day, or every few days; perhaps you only need to do it weekly or monthly. If you have already scheduled personal life events, scheduling work in a way that won’t cause conflict will be much easier. As a bonus, you’ll find focusing on work is easier when you don’t feel badly about missing out on your personal life.
• Take time for love. Rekindle your romance with your partner or spouse, whether that means writing love letters, sending cute emails a few times a week, or finally scheduling that vacation you’ve both been talking about for months or years. Spend a weekend away now and then. Get a babysitter and enjoy dinner out once a month or so. No matter what you do, enjoy each moment you spend together. Remind yourself of the need to be present for this relationship. If you find yourself thinking about work, gently bring yourself back to the moment.
• Enjoy activities with family members and friends. Turn off the TV, go outside, and play. Try hiking, camping, or just enjoying a simple picnic. Share meals where conversation is the centerpiece, even if those meals are simple. Think about ways you can accomplish important tasks like home maintenance in a fun way that gets everyone involved. Help your community, go to church or synagogue if you feel drawn to, and grab every opportunity to enjoy positive interactions with the people who are important to you.

There are many ways you can leave work in its rightful place and spend time focusing on improving your personal life. In the end, it’s not what you do that matters. Instead, it’s that you actually do what it takes to bring joy and fulfillment to each day. Don’t wait for life to happen, and don’t leave room for regret. It’s your life – make it personal.